Are most gay men tops or bottoms

When it comes to your partners, communication is key — be clear about what you want and what pleases you. Identities around being a top or bottom are incredibly diverse and complex. In my area rural va there are more tops than bottoms and most gays overall escaping to larger cities like DC, Richmond and Hampton Roads Area.

These sexual preferences and roles can be fluid and may change over time or with different partners. For many of us, especially when we are young, these terms can be confusing and even scary. For many, being a top or bottom is limited to the bedroom.

But in some relationships, these dynamics extend beyond sex. Also remember that anal sex carries a higher risk of HIV and STIs, so get clued up on protecting yourself and your partners. In a male same-sex relationship, for example, the top is typically the person who anally penetrates the other partner, known as the bottom.

This preference is just as valid as any other and is increasingly recognised in the queer community as a complete and fulfilling form of sexual expression. It can be hard—if not impossible—to untangle all these threads.

How to tell whether : Learn how to navigate preferences and communication in online dating

In this context, the top usually plays the dominant role—controlling the action—while the bottom is the submissive partner who consents to being dominated, often physically. Many men choose not to engage in penetrative anal sex at all.

Ask any gay guy, and he'll tell you there are multitudes of bottoms for every top in the world. This can include elements of BDSM bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism. These terms are not always limited to describing sexual preferences, sexual activity or roles.

An article by Brian Moylan sought out to find the answer. For the record I am a top. While everyone is free to live as they choose, we also have the opportunity to question and break free from such patterns, embracing more equal, flexible roles.

Importantly, they must be consensual, with both partners agreeing to the experience and setting clear boundaries. We put those assumptions to the test. They reflect personal preferences, internal belief systems, and social and cultural influences.

People choose or end up in these sexual roles for many reasons. Can you tell if a guy is a top or a bottom just by looking at him? Someone who is vers or versatile, for example, can enjoy either role depending on the situation or their partner.

These individuals often identify as sides.

Beyond who penetrates whom, top and bottom roles can also relate to power dynamics during sex. However, these roles can be subverted. This dynamic has been criticised for replicating traditional, often patriarchal, heterosexual gender roles—the dominant male and the passive female.

Sides prefer sexual activity that does not involve anal penetration, for many valid and diverse reasons—including a lack of appeal or physical comfort. They can also be loaded with expectations, assumptions and social stereotypes. In some same-sex relationships, for example, the top may also hold more power in the relationship—being the decision-maker, main breadwinner, or gift-giver.